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Rising rents and knowledge that “Oakland businesswomen support each other,” led Carolyn to look for retail space in her hometown. Everyone is welcome.” The high-end garments at Hello Vintage include tags with information about the designer and the specific time period from which it was produced.

She found her current space and kept up efforts to make Hello Vintage stand out, pairing her best business skills — a strong work ethic, honesty, superior taste, and a willingness to listen to advice, according to her husband — with retail features and customers’ desires. Carolyn posts vivid photos of the apparel on her website, providing definitions of different designer labels and fashion eras that are written with brevity and clarity.

Forget everything you have read or assume about Millennials.

The media portrays them as overachievers who are carrying huge college debts and are obsessed with big incomes, new technology, and career advancement.

“We had both assumed we wouldn’t marry until we’re in our 30s,” Carolyn said.

“If someone says they’re looking for long-term relationships, people freak out.” The two first met on Tinder while at the San Francisco airport.

So you end up wondering “What’s the matter with me? ”As an openly gay man with over thirty years of experience as a therapist, I have seen scores of single gay men sabotage their efforts to find a partner, placing obstacles in their own path —without having the slightest idea as to what they are doing and why.

Fortunately, I have also learned how to identify and name these self-defeating and often hidden hurdles—and have discovered that they are beliefs that too many gay men repeat to themselves, often without even knowing it.

Hello Vintage does more than sell clothes, hosting dress-up parties and special events — like an upcoming antique clothing open house with museum-worthy clothes, wine, cheese, and docents — to add pizzazz to the experience. Asked for advice for young women entrepreneurs — or for those seeking life partners — she said, “Know that it will get better. Don’t let society dictate to you that you want fast hookups, flings, or not being committed.This toxic internalized belief is further ingrained if we have been treated harshly (or abandoned) by our fathers, the first men in our lives to teach us about our value in the eyes of other males.Sadly, these wounds are difficult to heal, and as a result, can leave gay men with the sense that we are unlovable and thus unworthy of love, affection, and happiness.Unique items abound: among them, a dress once worn to JFK’s inauguration and Chinese dresses from the 1940s brought in by a customer.“She wanted them to go to good homes,” Carolyn remembered of their donor.

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