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While this post is written within a heterosexual frame, many of these same concerns can apply to same-sex relationships as well. While it’s wonderful that a woman can approach and ask a man for a date, there is also a delicate balance in the relationship. The investment factor seamlessly leads to an even more important type of initiative.

You ask him any iteration of relationship check-up questions and he’s either unsure, needs more time, or tables the topic entirely.

Of course, the point is not to gossip about exes or fixate on past relationships.

But having a sense of where one came from can make the road ahead far less bumpy. But you can also tell when a person is avoiding these topics altogether.

Plus, starting over with someone new can feel like too much work.

But deep down you have a nagging feeling that something just isn’t right.

Girlfriend 30F just had a talk with me 27M about how when I go quiet I make her feel like she is being punished and hates how it makes her feel. He doesn't believe me and thinks the too good to be true offer is legitimate and that I am attacking him.

Or they provide so many opinions that it starts to get confusing.

Red flags are often obvious, he is verbally abusive or physically aggressive, but it’s the more subtle ones we miss.

Below is a list of commonly encountered red flags that might help a woman to think twice before pursuing or continuing a questionable romantic relationship. Does he show little interest in making reservations, getting creative with activities, or does he expect you to do this for him?

It’s completely fair to ask if he sees long-term potential in the relationship, his view on commitment and marriage, and other “big picture” questions.

The speed at which a relationship progresses is a function of many factors, one of them being age. On average, however, it is more socially acceptable for a person in her later 20s to early 30s to ask more serious questions earlier on. If you think he’s not emotionally invested, there is a good chance he’s not.

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