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The programming is undertaken for the very purpose of derailing you, of diverting you when required (read Reacting vs.

responding: Overcoming legacy of abuse and narcissism for more on this and how to stop being their puppet).

If yes, you know all too well the obliteration that inevitably comes from narcissistic invalidation.

Like you are entirely worthless and just don’t matter?

Letting things & people be without the need to change them is not something the narc can do.

The hunt for validation is an obsession for the narcissist. It’s therefore unsurprising that pursuing substantiation of being such a mythical being is fraught with difficulties that cannot be resolved. This need to allocate people, things, and events into one of the two extremes due to the inability to intellectually integrate both negative and positive qualities in the one entity, is referred to as splitting (for more on splitting read From ‘soul mate’ to worthless: What’s behind the narcissist’s 180? Obviously, the pathological narcissist allocates themselves to the all good/perfect category.

These social needs are just as essential as other survival needs like food, shelter, and safety.

Connection to others and being accepted is at the core of belonging.

This stunted and polarised thinking of the pathological narcissist is actually quite simple once decoded (albeit completely illogical and disordered, of course).

It goes like this: to retain beliefs in always being right and superior means that anyone who knowingly or unknowingly challenges these points, must be wrong and inferior. The ONLY thing that matters is that your thoughts, feelings, and experiences are negated (read The narcissist’s word salad: Stop biting now for an example of this in action).

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